What is a crisis of faith? A real crisis of faith?
It is that moment when you have nothing in this realm to go on, except what you think or hope that God has promised you and you are just barely hanging on. Unlike the picture at left, you don't even have a rope.
I want to first establish some definitions here, because in my studies, I have found that certain words don’t always mean in Hebrew or Greek quite what I think they mean in English. You may, of course, skip past the definitions to the main body of the article, but I do ask that you will bear with me as I lay the foundation.
I used Strong's Concordance for the Hebrew and Greek words and definitions, and Merriam-Webster dictionary for the English. I will also supply links at the end of this article. Please also note that as there are several entries for each of these words, I have narrowed them down to the most appropriate for this topic.
Believe: Aman (Heb): meaning to confirm, support, or to trust. It also may also
be translated as azan, meaning to give ear or to listen.
Sabar (Heb): hope, sabar has connections with Aramaic and Arabic
words meaning inspect, or examine as well as Aramaic for
wait, hope.
Pisteúō(Gr): this word is close to pistis which means faith, and peíthō
meaning persuade or to be persuaded. Pisteúō may have a
secular or divine meaning. It means to have faith, to entrust;
may also be used as “the believing that leads to/proceeds
from God’s inbirthing of faith.”
(Strong’s Hebrew 539, 540, 238, 7663; Strong’s Greek 4100)
Faith: Emunah (Heb): from aman, this translation means firmness,
steadfastness, fidelity.
Pistis (Gr): persuasion, guarantee, warranty,
Hupomoné (Gr): a remaining behind, a patient enduring
Teleiótés (Gr): a completer, a finisher
(Strong’s Hebrew 530; Greek 4103, 5281, 5051)
Crisis: 1c: an emotionally significant event or radical change of status in a
person's life
3a: an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive
change is impending especially: one with the distinct possibility of a highly
undesirable outcome
b: a situation that has reached a critical phase
(Merriam-Webster online dictionary)
Now that we have established some of the definitions for “faith”, “believe” (I included this word because it was so closely related to faith in the translations) and “crisis”, we can move forward with answering the question: what is a crisis of faith?
Using the definitions provided, a crisis of faith would be a decisive and critical moment in which a decision must be made as to whether one will trust and then patiently endure until completion. To put it another way, it is that moment when you cannot see, hear, touch, smell or taste any physical evidence but you choose to believe what God has said even though everything you can see, hear, touch, smell or taste contradicts what He has said. Simply speaking, it is choosing the intangible over the tangible. To simplify even further, it’s “opposite day” at your house.
A Biblical example of this crisis of faith would be Abram, when God told him he would be a father of many nations. There was nothing in Abram’s life that he could see, hear, touch, smell or taste he could use as evidence that what God was telling him was actually going to happen. God had to change his name to Abraham, forcing him to prophecy and speak the promise, every time he introduced himself. The result of Abraham's belief was a son born when he and Sarah were both well past child-bearing years, and within a few generations, a nation.
Another example is Queen Esther. She knew the rules, if she went to the king unbidden, he could have her executed and find a new queen. She had no assurance that her life would be spared when she approached the king, but she went anyway. The result: Haman’s plot to exterminate the Jews was ultimately exposed and her people were saved.
A third example is the woman with the issue of blood. Her condition made her "unclean" and she broke Jewish law by going out in public and then grabbing hold of Jesus’ garment. She knew her Hebrew history and teaching, she knew that when the Sun of righteousness appeared, He would come with healing in His wings. (Malachi 4:2)
This nameless woman had more than one critical moment, when she had to choose whether or not to believe the rumors that this prophet from Nazareth really was the Messiah, and if so, was she going to try to touch His mantle, even though that meant making Him unclean. (Leviticus 15:25-27) Can you just imagine what she must have felt, daring to make THE Messiah unclean! Yet, because she chose to believe He was Messiah, she then chose to find Him, touch His wings and this resulted in a face-to-face confrontation with HIM that she likely never expected, and she was made whole. Her story, like the earlier examples, was recorded and has inspired believers for thousands of years.
Now to my story, which I am not comparing to any of the biblical ones, lest you think I'm getting notions above myself. Over the last twenty-four hours, I have reached my own crisis of faith. I was in the critical position of having to choose whether to believe that which I have heard from Him and that which He has shown me, or not.
Now, when I write “heard” and “shown”, I mean in the spiritual realm. I did not hear anything with my physical ears. I did not see anything with my physical eyes. There is nothing that I can associate with my five senses, that I can see, hear, smell, touch or taste. I can only trust that my spiritual ears and eyes are telling me the truth and that it was God.
This actually began twenty-five years ago, when I entered into an agreement with God. I did my part, and He was supposed to follow up with the rest, which He did. In addition to that agreement, He made a promise. I have waited twenty-five years to see that promise come to pass.
Late last summer, He gave me revelation, and I saw that I was within shooting distance of the attainment of that promise. Yet, at this very moment, the circumstances around me appear not merely unlikely, but absolutely impossible.
I will point out here, that when you have nothing physical that you can point to, your own flesh is going to have great difficulty believing and you don’t need any help from the enemy. You will have enough of a battle against your own fleshly doubt, disbelief, concern, anxiety and desire to forfeit. However, because the kingdom of darkness is only too happy to torment, you will be hit with every fiery dart they can fling your way.
To say that this particular situation has been painful would be an understatement. At times, it has been excruciating. I’ve talked some with family and friends, but I haven’t told any of them the whole story. I've left out some of the gory details. It’s too painful to relate and honestly, I’ve been afraid that they would respond with, “Nope. That’s not God. You’re way off, dear. You need to forget about this one and move on.”
Recently, I’ve had the events and conversations of the last eleven months regarding this situation running round and round in my thoughts, all presented in the most negative light, of course. Not that there was a need for any more negativity!
I’ve questioned the Lord over the last few weeks with, are You sure? Is this really from You? These questions were compounded last night with the most painful and demoralizing “realizations” from the enemy. I felt as if I was losing hold of the last thread of hope.
In my bleakest hour, I thought, “Oh God, why? This is crushing me. Why did You choose to bring me this? How is this fair when I’ve waited so long? Wasn’t the waiting enough? I’m not sure I can even believe anymore. Even if it was really You, and You really said this was Your plan, can’t You change Your mind? I don’t want this. I’m done. Let’s just forget about it.” I will reiterate here, thought not said! I’ve been learning to be extremely careful with the words I allow out of my mouth.
I am reminded of Abraham in Genesis 17:17-18 when he was on his face before God asking, "can’t You just change Your mind and go with Ishmael?" Or Moses in Exodus 4 when he kept arguing with God about whether or not he was the right man for the job. I've argued with God myself, “Abba, let’s just go a different direction. Seriously, I'm okay with Your Plan B.”
Just so we’re clear: I am not putting myself in the same class as Abraham or Moses. I’m just saying, I think I understand why they argued with God about His plan. They both waited a long time for their hopes and dreams to come to pass. When God showed up and said, “Here ya go” the actual manifestation in real-time appeared unbelievable, absurd, frightening and impossible.
Now, when it all came down to the critical moment, I was sobbing and ready to give up. When I quieted a bit, He said to me, “Julia, this is a test. This is where you have to choose to believe Me, that My word is true in spite of your circumstances, or you quit. If you quit, you’ll die.”
I was in a “crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending”. Was I going to listen to what God had said to me, be persuaded and trust Him, or not? I had to lay there and consider my options. I can honestly say that at that moment, neither option appeared desirable. The choice was not easy. You might think it should have been, but it wasn’t. Making the choice to believe Him meant enduring more heartache and waiting, for how long? I don’t know how long, because He has never answered that question.
I chose to believe Him. I whispered through tears, “I trust You.” I reached a turning point. I have chosen to trust, to hope, to endure and one day, He who is the author will complete my faith.
Once I made my choice, I was not suddenly transported to an emotional mountaintop of happiness covered with sunlight, rainbows and unicorns. Honestly, I’m still not very confident, at this moment. I did however see in the spirit, His hand pulling me up to a higher ledge, letting me know that I’ve passed another test. That particular crisis of faith is behind me and I now know I really do believe Him above everything else around me.
It’s being caught between a rock and a hard place, a crisis of faith. A very big rock and a very hard place. The choice is probably not going to be easy, for anyone. Just because you choose to believe Him, doesn’t mean that everything immediately changes and all the pieces suddenly fall into place. It just means you chose to truly believe what He has told you, no matter what happens next, or how long it will take before everything comes to pass.
God bless you, and I hope you will choose to climb to that higher ledge with Him. He is absolutely worth everything. I will leave you with something positive, the lyrics to a couple of my favorite songs. In fact, this first one is my current theme song. Personally, I prefer Mandisa's version, it's more dramatic. ;-)
Way Maker*
Performed by Mandisa
You are here, moving in our midst
I worship You, I worship You
You are here, working in this place
I worship You, I worship You
You are Way Maker
Miracle Worker
Promise Keeper
Light in the darkness
My God, that is who You are
You are here, touching every heart
I worship You, I worship You
You are here, healing every life
I worship You, I worship You
You are Way Maker
Miracle Worker
Promise Keeper
Light in the darkness
My God, that is who You are
That is who You are
That is who You are
By faith, I believe that
Even when I don't see it, You're working
Even when I don't feel it, You're working
You never stop, You never stop working
You never stop, You never stop working
You are here
Way Maker
I worship You, I worship You
Worthy of it All*
Performed by CeCe Winans
All the saints and angels
They bow before Your throne
All the elders cast their crowns
Before the Lamb of God and sing
You are worthy of it all
You are worthy of it all
For from You are all things
And to You are all things
You deserve the glory
Day and night, night and day, let incense arise
Day and night, night and day, let incense arise
You are worthy of it all
You are worthy of it all
For from You are all things
And to You are all things
You deserve the glory
references:
Genesis 12-21
Hebrews 4
Esther 5
Mark 5:24-34
Luke 8:42-48
Hebrews 12:2
*“Way Maker” Written by: Osinachi Okoro
Performed by: Mandisa
Album: Overcomer: The Greatest Hits
Album release: February 7, 2020
*“Worthy of it All” Written by: Ryan Hall, David Brymer
Performed by: CeCe Winans
Album: Believe For It
Album release: March 12,2021